The Best Man
The groom will choose his best man who has a large part to play in
the wedding. It is obviously not always possible to have a responsible
and sensible best man. However as long he can organise he should do
fine.
Best Man - Responsibilities
1. Arranging the Stag Night - this is probably one of the
most enjoyable responsibilities for the best man.
Basic Rule: Don't let on to the bride the real plan of action for
the evening. It might result in a stag night without the stag. I know
of someone whose bride and pending mother in law discovered that plans
had been made for a rather dodgy stripper and he wasn't allowed out
that night! It sounds unlikely but sometimes bad feelings can override
mature behaviour. In his case he felt that it just wasn't worth the
potential ongoing complaints for the sake of a night out.
2. Ensuring the groom gets to church in good time.
Best to make sure that the groom does not really have a hangover.
It might sound macho but all it really means is that the groom has
poisoned his bloodstream for the day. Why suffer pain just for someone
else to have a laugh? If the groom wants to make his bride happy on
her special day he needs to share all of the special moments with
her.
3. Taking care of wedding rings until needed.
4. Organising the ushers on the day.
5. The Speech
This is the part of the reception that the groom, bride and anyone
else at the reception who knows the best man dreads. We have all seen
the film clip from Four Weddings and a Funeral. Ex-girlfriends are
definitely off the agenda. However now that the bride and groom are
married, mother-in-law comments are perfectly acceptable providing
they are in good taste and are actually funny.
Advice to the best man: Just remember what you have
previously told the bride about the stag night. You don't want to
drop any little bombshells on the wedding day. Don't upset anyone
- it should be remembered as a happy day! In fact keep away from the
smutty stuff altogether unless it is the norm for your particular
families.
It is always desirable to start a speech with a little quip to get
a little laugh and get the audience on your side. The trouble is that
if it isn't funny it will have the opposite effect so give some thought
to your opening words for some time before you make the speech.
In fact, when anyone stands up to make a social speech the audience
is always on their side at the beginning. They want it to be a pleasant
and amusing experience and they want you to come across well. They
do not want to be embarrassed by naff remarks and they want you to
have made a mature friendly impression when you sit down.
Traditionally the best man talks about the groom. How he first got
to know him, what his interests are, what a good friend he is, his
successes in sport, work, socially etc. Why he will make such a good
husband for the bride and all that sort of thing. There is always
mention of amusing or even embarrassing incidents but keep it so that
the bride is proud of him and so are her parents who are losing a
treasured possession to him and want to make sure she will always
be well cared for.
You can talk about how you were first introduced to the bride, fun
times, holidays etc. and finally when you end your speech you toast
the happy couple.
Your exact closing words will be something like: "Ladies and
gentlemen may I ask you to stand and toast Jennifer and John - then
give them a minute to stand up and stop shuffling around.
"May they enjoy a long and happy married life together. Ladies
and gentlemen, the bride and groom, Jennifer and John."
Everyone else will repeat the toast and you can sit down knowing you
have made a good impression. If the bride’s mother is in tears
you will have done well.
Ushers
Ushers are required at a wedding to assist the best man to ensure
the day goes smoothly. The ushers should show guests to their seats,
hand out service sheets and ensure that after the service, guests
know how to get to the reception and that everyone has transport.
Most weddings have between two and four ushers.
Chief Bridesmaid
The Chief Bridesmaid should assist the smaller attendants, if there
are any, and the bride, to get dressed. Hold on to the brides bouquet
during the service and try to control the smaller attendants. Assist
the bride in changing into her going-away outfit. |
